The Best Ancient Quotes To Help You Lead A Successful Life

History is a great teacher. Whatever challenge you are facing today, you can be sure that someone else has faced it before. Thousands of years ago, people's lives were a lot more challenging than the lives of people today. Warfare, lack of food, diseases were a constant threat. Yet people were still able to overcome these challenges, survive and even lead happy lives.

From these ages, comes timeless wisdom that is as inspiring and pertinent today, as it was thousands of years ago. This ancient wisdom has served as a guide for people throughout the ages, and it can inspire you as well. Use it to get a sense of direction and tackle the challenges that life throws at you.

"A man's character is his fate." Heraclitus

Your outlook on life will determine how you will fare in life. Yes, the world can be a mean place sometimes, but there is no use in complaining about it.

You need to take matters into your own hands and face all the things life throws at you head on. A person who has a strong will and self-discipline will conquer, while the weak person who only complains and does nothing to improve themselves will continue on living a measly existence.

"The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances." Aristotle

You always have to count on something happening in life that will derail your plans. Don't sulk in despair. Use it in order to drive you to achieve even more.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." Confucius

There will always be obstacles on the way. You will fail more times than you will succeed. However the only thing you can do is to get up again, brush yourself off and continue on your journey. That's where your greatest triumphs will come from. A successful person is also usually a person who has failed thousands of times over.

"You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity." Epicurus

You rarely become great just by circumstances and without challenges. In fact, it is the difficult times and the way you handle them that make you great. The next time when you face a challenge, don't back down, instead overcome it and learn from the experience.

"Our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius

Your life is what you make of it. If you think everyone is against and you are helpless to overcome all this negativity, then you will continue on living a miserable life. However if you realize that your life is in your hands and instead decide to face your worst fears and start on a journey of self-improvement, then your life will only get better.

You need to visualize success and work for it. Only with hard work will you be able to achieve your goals.

In the ancient times, people from all over Ancient Greece and beyond used to go the Oracle of Delphi to ask for guidance. High on the temple walls were carved out a series of simple maxims, words of wisdom, which are as true and applicable today, as they were thousands of years ago:

"Know thyself." Delphic maxim

"Know your opportunity." Delphic maxim

"Cling to discipline." Delphic maxim

"Test the character." Delphic maxim

"Work for what you can own." Delphic maxim

"Live without sorrow." Delphic maxim

"Do not tire of learning." Delphic maxim

Take these to heart and return to them whenever you feel you are losing direction or need a kick in the ass.

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Peter is a world traveler interested in fitness, history, learning languages, as well as many other things. He shares his thoughts on fitness, history, and self-improvement on his blog: Gain Weight Journal.

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4 Reasons You’re Starving on Your Diet Plan

Feel like you would eat just about anything right now? If you’re on a strict weight loss diet plan, there’s no question that some hunger should be expected. It is after all, a normal and natural part of the weight loss process.

No diet would have you completely avoid the hunger you will experience when in a calorie deficit state. However, if your hunger is becoming so uncontrollable that you struggle to stay focused on the tasks you need to do throughout the day, you should analyze the diet you are using.

Is this hunger there for a reason? Chances are, it is. You are making a critical mistake in your diet programming, which is what is leading to this hunger in the first place.

Let’s look at the top four reasons why you’re starving and what you can do to remedy them.

1. You’re Eating Too Many Carbohydrates

The first reason why you may be ravenous all day long is if your diet is too high in carbohydrates and too low in both protein and dietary fats. While you don’t need to cut carbs out, you do need to make sure that you are getting a balanced diet.

Protein and fats are the two nutrients that will best calm hunger pains, so they should form a larger part of your diet plan for optimal hunger-busting results.

Aim to eat around 30-40% of your diet from protein, 25-35% from dietary fats, and the remaining from carbohydrates.

2. You Aren’t Eating Breakfast

The second reason you may be finding yourself more hungry than normal is if you are skipping breakfast. Think it’s a great way to save calories?

Think again. Those who skip breakfast are far more likely to overeat later, making it harder to sustain their target calorie intake.

Eat first thing in the morning and you should find that your hunger level is much better controlled, allowing you to make smart food choices.

Just be sure that this breakfast is balanced as well. An energy bar or donut does not count as a proper morning meal.

3. You Don’t Fuel Up Post Workout

Another time you want to make sure that you are eating well is immediately post workout. Some people think that skipping food here will help promote faster fat burning.

This is not the case. Immediately after exercise, your body is going to be needing nutrients. If you don’t feed it, you’ll not only recover slower, but you’ll find yourself far more hungry throughout the rest of the day.

Eat some faster acting carbohydrates along with some protein post workout.

4. You’re Never Taking A Break From The Diet

The final reason why you may be suffering from ongoing hunger with your diet plan is if you are never taking a break from the diet itself. While you definitely do want to stick with the diet as best as possible, make sure that every 3-4 weeks, you have a scheduled break from the plan where you increase your calorie intake again.

This is going to help send a strong signal to the body to reduce your hunger level as well as increase your metabolic rate –two things that will make it much easier to keep seeing excellent progress on your diet plan.

Taking a short 2-4 day break is not going to set you back in progress, as long as you control yourself and eat wisely. Instead, it will just push you forward so that you can see faster and greater success into the future.

These are a few of the main reasons why you may be experiencing more hunger than normal. Are any of these applicable to you?

Shannon Clark has a degree in Exercise Science and is an AFLCA certified personal trainer. She has written on the topics of health, fitness and nutrition for almost a decade. Her insights are regularly published on BodyBuilding.com, MyFitnessPal and FitRated.com. FitRated is a leading fitness equipment review site offering insights on equipment, workout plans and weight loss strategies.

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4 Ways To Stop Caring What Other People Think

“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” - Bertrand Russell

Last year, I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do in life. Although it wasn't crystal clear, because I lacked confidence enough as it was and giving the people closest around me a reason to put me down was quite honestly, too much to bear.

I wanted to inspire people. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to finally join a gym.

But most of my goals seemed so out of sync with what everyone else in my area was doing, that if I tried to take a different path they might never let me hear the end of it. That's where the change came in. I had a bit of an epiphany during the commence of 2014, and realized that I can't live my life in constant fear of what the people around me will think.

There are a few things I had to change in order to let go of this fear of others opinions and become more independent. So this advice is to help anyone else reading who is stopping themselves from doing something purely because of someone else's opinion.

1) Meet New People With Similar Ambitions

They say that more often than not, you turn out just like the 5 people you hang around with the most. Fear is an important factor within this statement, because hanging around with people just like you makes it a lot easier to do what you love and embrace it!

When I first decided I wanted to start a blog, I didn't know anyone else that ran their own blog at all. None of my current friends did that's for sure. That all changed within the first couple of months, as I began to connect with people running blogs who are setting out on very similar quests to my own, and it made things much easier for me as they were always there for support, advice and like-minded conversation.

It's not to say that I forgot my existing friends, because if they're great friends and they've always been there for me, why would I want to drop them for other people? It's just worth bearing in mind that meeting new people on the same wavelength as you, can give you all the support and direction you need from a friend's perspective.

2) Remove the Negativity From Around You

As far as my story goes, many of my old friends had a negative outlook on life, or more of a negative attitude towards it if you like. Which made it incredibly easy for them to put people's opinions down.

For example, when I first suggested that I was going to join a gym, I was met with painful laughter from a few people, which I had to try and shake off. I've bulked up a lot since then and surprised many people in the process, but it wasn't done without first removing this negativity from my life.

I started to withdraw myself from those people that were causing me doubt and emotional struggles, so that I'd be able to express myself more easily within groups and be comfortable sharing my goals with other people.

It's helped me a great deal over the past year and got me further than ever before, so removing the negative and poor friends from your life can be a very important step in becoming more confident within your surroundings and losing the fear of others opinions.

3) Focus on the Friends You Trust

You probably have many different types of friends, but there will always be a select few that you trust highly. The ones that have always been there for you and supported you no matter what.If you're ever looking for someone to talk to, these trustworthy friends of yours are definitely the people to go to because they should be understanding and incredibly helpful.

Back when I first wanted to start expressing my ideas and become more confident as an individual, I would talk to two or three friends singularly. I would share my goals, my new ideas and opinions on things, and they'd listen and it would actually turn into a great conversation.

These talks gave me a huge confidence boost because I now knew that some people understood and didn't go against what I was talking about. So, gradually I began to open myself up to other friends within the circle, and it wasn't long before things changed – I became more relaxed and my goals started to become reality.

Start with the friends you trust completely, and gradually open yourself up to people. It's no good trying to conquer your fear by facing a large group of people right away. Build on your confidence gradually.

4) Remember Who Leads Your Life

The last thing to remember; more of a mental challenge rather than anything else, is to really grasp on the fact that you're the one leading your life. You are free to do whatever you choose. Friends will come and go, and the majority of people you see everyday, you won't see twice.

So go out and be confident, because the only person that will see every minute of your life is you, and your opinion of yourself is always the most important step in living a happy and peaceful life.

This more than anything, was something that hit me hard in 2014. I can go and do all the things above and definitely end up with a great group of supportive friends, but if we don't all grasp the fact that we're the only ones in control of our lives, then we'll always feel captive and buried below the surface of doubt and fear.

It's crazy to realize that most of the things we want to do in life, we end up not doing because we fear of others opinions and take on the situations. We fear talking to new people in case they reject us, we fear acting on our ideas in case they get shot down...
If we all mastered this fear and did exactly what we wanted to, just think how much happier we could all be.

Be confident, stay happy and never let others put you down.

Dan Western is the Founder of Wealthy Gorilla, an ever growing community dedicated to inspiring others to live the life they've always wanted. Dan is an aspiring personal trainer, life coach and entrepreneur, who can't wait to help others fulfill their true potential. Join him on Facebook, or follow him on Twitter.

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How to Really Really Find Your Life Purpose (and Do the Work You Love)

Break the rules. We have so many rules in life about everything. I say break the rules. Not the law, but break the rules / Arnold Schwarzenegger

Can we be honest?

You know how you've been struggling to find your dream job? Tried everything and still feeling crappy?

Well, It's not because you didn't find the right place to work in. It's not because you have the wrong position.

It's because you're looking in the wrong place.

But you’re not alone.

Most people live their life without knowing better. They cruise on autopilot, letting their job slowly suck the life out of them. They feel bitter and lost.

But there’s a dead simple way to get your bearings straight. To find your life purpose. To do the work you love.

Shall I explain?

Working a Corporate Job Changes You in a Creepy Way

I used to work in a corporate job. I kept my nose to the grindstone. I wanted to save money for retirement because that’s the “right” thing to do. But living this way takes it’s toll.

I started daydreaming about retirement. Being only 30.
My mood became gloomy making me grumpy and miserable. Being around me sucked.

Then I remembered.
How it was before, how I was happy.

I didn’t want to become a corporate slave. To forget how to enjoy life as a free man.
I didn’t want to become institutionalized.

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized / Shawshank Redemption

I knew there must be another way. To live a vibrant life. To be happy.
But I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to step into uncharted waters.

The Kick-Ass First Aid Treatment that Saves You From Misery

When I felt hopeless, my wife came to the rescue.
She challenged me with a simple exercise. It changed my life. It helped me find and pursue my life purpose.

It’s extremely simple but it’ll guide you towards living fully. Towards doing the work you love.

What’s the exercise?

1. Write down what you’d like to do if money is not an issue.
2. Order the list by what you’re most passionate about.
3. Pick the top item.

When I did this exercise, my top item was helping people achieve their greatest potential. I had noticed that I felt best when I mentored others to enjoy their lives more.

I started gobbling up books and taking courses. I worked hard to overcome my social phobia. To sound my voice even when I was scared shitless.

Take the time to complete this exercise. And when you’re done, start acting towards accomplishing it.

It’ll be hard. Damn hard.
It’ll smack you out of your comfort zone. It’ll shake every molecule of your being. But it’ll be worth it.
It’ll change you. Drastically. You’ll feel alive. You’ll become happier than ever. Your friends will notice it. Your family will notice it.

Wouldn’t you go an extra mile for that?

Repeat this exercise once in a month. You’ll be surprised your answer changes.
That’s how you navigate to your greatest passion. Each time you perform this exercise you come closer to finding your purpose in life.

And when you find it you’ll know. Definitely.

The Secret To Doing What You Love

You can’t achieve your dream by staying comfy.

You can’t fulfill yourself doing what everyone expects.

Break a convention and naysayers start popping up from everywhere. They say the risk is too big. That you won’t make it.

But deep down they know.

They are ashamed to lack YOUR courage.

Stop listening to naysayers. And start listening to yourself.

Follow your passion. Cultivate it and learn about it in every chance you get.

Go ahead. Fire up your passion.

You know you deserve it.

P.S. How do you handle naysayers? Let me know in the comments below.

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Benny helps men live their life to the fullest, while putting their family first. Get his free “Foolproof Checklist for Spending More Time with Your Family While Getting Things Done”.

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Should We Forgive Bill Cosby?

It’s a question that comes up when celebrities get themselves into trouble. Which happens often enough.

To start with, let me make it clear that I’m not talking about the legal side of the issue. At least twenty-three women have spoken out about varying degrees of molestation at the beloved comedian’s hands. Bill Cosby has (it seems) done things that make him liable to criminal and civil penalties. The law should take its course. You don’t get off because you’re a celebrity.

Instead I’m talking about the court of public opinion. As one CNN news story put it, “Cosby, 77, has never faced a judge or jury, let alone been convicted, over the allegations. But it’s clear many people have already tried him in their minds.”

To begin with, although current society is fascinated by celebrities, the role they actually play in our culture isn’t well understood.

We live in a society of strangers. We are no longer tribespeople or villagers whose acquaintance totals a few dozen people. Every day we see and deal with many individuals we will never see again. This is especially true in big cities and suburbs.

Even people we see every day are more or less strangers to us. How much do you know about the people you work with? Do you and they have any common acquaintances outside the workplace? What about your neighbors? I’ve lived for six years in the same middle-class suburb on the edge of the Chicago metropolis. I know some of my neighbors, but most of those who live around me are people I probably wouldn’t even recognize in most settings.

At the same time, we find ourselves interacting with these strangers in various ways, and we have to talk to them about something. One thing we all share is a familiarity with famous people—politicians, movie stars, singers, sports heroes, and so on. These celebrities provide a kind of common acquaintance that we can talk about with people with whom we otherwise have little to share.

But we have a very curious attitude toward these celebrities. We like to build them up and then tear them down again. Often they let themselves in for it by doing stupid, bizarre, or criminal things, but the vehemence we show (while enormous atrocities elsewhere in the world are going practically unnoticed) suggests that something else is going on.

When you think about it, even the celebrity you most abhor is in all likelihood someone who has never harmed you personally, if only because he has never met you. You may even realize that, from a purely personal point of view, you have had nothing but pleasure from his performances. But because he has been caught in a disgraceful act, you get satisfaction from despising him. You may even start to feel sincerely angry with him.

Some of this anger is due to envy. We live in a democratic, egalitarian society, where nobody is any better than anybody else (or so we tell ourselves). At the same time we want to have heroes to admire and look up to. These impulses are somewhat contradictory, and so it’s no surprise that they produce contradictory results—elevating the star, then tearing her down.

This process is also a way of cementing common values. To attack a celebrity who commits rape is, or seems to be, a way of condemning rape as a whole. Fair enough—but I really wonder if this kind of condemnation is really going to help prevent crimes like this in the future.

For some people, hostility toward public figures is also a way of displacing their anger onto some remote object. But there is something suspicious about this process. What are you really angry about? It would make more sense to look at this question in the context of your own life and take steps to remedy it—or accept the situation if there’s nothing else you can do.

Granted, there are a lot of people who looked up to Bill Cosby. They feel genuinely hurt that his behavior has been at such variance with his benign fatherly image. It’s always a danger you face with heroes—especially living ones. They often turn out to be different what you thought they would be—and more often than not, they’re worse. I suppose the lesson here is to be careful about whom you look up to—especially if they’re still alive and the book isn’t closed on their personal stories.

In one sense, then, this rush to revile Bill Cosby is understandable. He was held up as a hero and a role model, and he let a lot of people down. It would be hard if not impossible to excuse him of many of the things he’s done (assuming he really did them).

In the end, though, I don’t feel I can answer the question that I started with. Should we forgive Bill Cosby? Should we condemn him? Who is this “we” that we’re talking  about—public opinion, society at large? Most of the time when people talk this way, they are inserting themselves into a (largely imagined) category of moral arbiters—whether or not they have any business to be there.

So, then, let me change the question: can I forgive Bill Cosby? I can and I will try to—because it’s in my own best interest to do so. It’s in my own best interest to stop upsetting myself and getting angry over things that are, in the end, none of my business. Whatever the truth of these charges, I personally wish Bill Cosby well—just as I wish his victims well. It’s for the sake of my own peace of mind.

Richard Smoley’s latest book, The Deal: A Guide to Radical and Complete Forgiveness, will be published in January 2015. His other works include The Dice Game of Shiva: How Consciousness Creates the Universe; Inner Christianity: A Guide to the Esoteric Tradition; and Conscious Love: Insights from Mystical Christianity. Richard is also editor of Quest magazine and Quest Books, both published by the Theosophical Society in America.

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The 10 Best Cities to Live Rich on a Dime (So You Can Bring Your Dreams to Life)

Admit it. You’ve wondered more than once…

Is there a better life out there?

You work your butt off every day, but just paying for the essentials becomes more difficult with every passing month.

And what about your dreams?

Will you be able to start your own business, send your children to college, or live the life you always wanted?

And you can’t help thinking …

Is there a smarter way of doing things?

A way to achieve a lower cost of living – and a higher quality of life?

Maybe it’s finally time to accept the fact…

Your city is way too expensive.

So why not do what so many others have done before you and move to a place that is more affordable and offers a better quality of life?

Perhaps somewhere with less crime and pollution – and more time to enjoy life.

Let’s see if such a place truly exists.

10) Alicante, Spain - the best of everything Spain has to offer.

OK, an explanation is needed. Yes, Alicante is not a place where you can literally live on a dime.
But compared to any North American city, and many in the UK, the cost of living in Alicante is so low and the quality of living is so high that this fabulous city deserves mention here.

Alicante lives its life in Barcelona’s shadows, which is not a bad thing.

This beautiful and safe beach city on Spain’s Costa Blanca is one of my favorite cities to live.

Alicante is famous for its traditional architecture, climate, food, entertainment, relaxed lifestyle, and lack of mass tourism. If you want to live a modern Spanish dream, Alicante won’t disappoint you.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $550/month.
Public Transportation: $37/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $37.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $1.00
And if your kids insist on eating at McDonalds, you can get a beer there too.

9) Mendoza, Argentina - where Argentina is still affordable

Mendoza is the heart of beautiful Argentinean wine country. It offers everything you would expect from a major metropolitan city — gourmet dining, exciting nightlife, and an energetic atmosphere, plus endless leisure activities.

The local economy offers ample opportunities for entrepreneurial spirit, and if your dream about starting your own business in Argentina, this could be your place.

The low cost of living in this urban metropolis makes it easy to pursue your dreams.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $380/month.
Buy: One-bedroom apartment, brand new, city center for $62,500.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $38.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $4
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.40

8) Bali, Indonesia - considered paradise by many

If you dream about low-cost living in a beautiful Asian city (perhaps writing your first novel), and you wish to participate in its exotic culture but also are willing to accept things you can’t change, Bali is your paradise.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $300/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $12
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.60

7) Chiang Mai, Thailand - possibly the best climate in Thailand

Exotic Thai culture, amazing food, milder mountain weather and friendly people — this is the city where you can live your dreams without running out of money fast. An active expats community will make integration easy for you and allow you to follow your passion; be on vacation for the rest of your life, start an online business, or work part-time as a tour guide.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $250/month.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $15.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $13
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.30

6) Corozal, Belize - if your dream is to simply “kick back”

Tropical paradise Corozal is all about the slow pace of life — yoga and meditation on the beach, a stroll through beach waters, a cocktail enjoying the sunset, or uninterrupted quiet time to concentrate on your business. Whatever your dreams are, here you can afford them.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $190/month.
Buy: Two-bedroom apartment, brand new, city center for $115,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $19.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $12
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.50

5) Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - cozy and romantic despite all the tourism

Vallarta is extremely versatile and has lots to offer those who can look past the cities heavy tourism.

The city offers incredible natural beauty, a small-town atmosphere, and a romantic side that many don’t expect, just outside of town.

If you can’t afford to live your dream in the US, take the short flight to Vallarta where you can.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $450/month.
Buy: Traditional town house, city center for $55,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $15.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $7.50
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.25

4) Ojen, Spain – affordable living only minutes from luxurious Marbella

If you ever dreamed about living in southern Spain, Ojen could be your place. A stone throw away from busy Marbella and its multi-million-dollar villas, beautiful and romantic Ojen offers a much more quaint life without being boring.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $330/month.
Buy: Traditional town house, city center for $100,000.
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $28.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $4.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, domestic $1.25

3) Prague, Czech Republic – a beautiful UNESCO World Heritage Site

Have you ever dreamt about living in a gorgeous historic European city, sending your kids to excellent international schools, and running your own online business? But Europe is too expensive … so you thought?

Modern Prague is a beautiful and vibrant city with energetic people, yet it's preserved much of its artsy charm and narrow cobblestone streets.

Prague has it all — beauty, entertainment, culture, thriving nightlife with amazing pubs, restaurants, cafes, and a prestigious university. The best of all … it is inexpensive.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $590/month.
Public Transportation: $25/month or $240/year city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $27.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.75

2) Bucharest, Romania – the Paris of Eastern Europe
The 6th largest European city is bright, energetic, beautiful, and in the middle of an economic and cultural boom, yet it's surprisingly affordable.

If you dream of living a rich Bohemian lifestyle in Europe, this is your city.

To top it all off, it’s only 90 minutes’ drive from the beautiful Black Sea.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $450/month.
Public Transportation: $15/month city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $7.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.80

1) Chisinau, Moldova - Europe’s most affordable city
Today’s Chisinau is emerging from its East Block heritage with a world-class National Opera House and Ballet, three national museums, 33 universities, large shopping malls, and an active nightlife.

Like most European cities, the streets are filled with friendly, well-dressed people and luxury cars. Wi-Fi is everywhere, and it’s free; you can run your online business easily from any of the beautiful city parks while enjoying the scenery.

Rent: One-bedroom apartment, city center $270/month.
Public Transportation: $6/month city-wide
Dinner: Three courses for two, mid-range restaurant, $22.
Wine: Supermarket, good quality $5.00
Beer: ½ liter bottle, excellent, domestic $0.80

So what do you think?

Having seen these alternatives, does your city still seem like a smart place to live?

Thought not.

So isn’t it time to move somewhere you can finally make your dreams a reality?

A place where you have enough money left at the end of the month to invest in your future – and your passions.

Because the perfect place for you is just waiting to be discovered.

Don’t procrastinate any longer. Pick a city from the list and start making your plans. It's much easier than you think to live a life you love.

So – where will you start living your dreams?

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Wilfried Lehmkuhler is passionate about helping people achieve their dreams; create financial Freedom and a Life they love by applying proven success strategies. Wilfried is a blogger, speaker, consultant and accomplished author who has worked with professional athletes and businesses in Europe and North America. You can find him at FinancialFreedomAndALifeYouLove.com or @WLehmkuhler

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6 Ways to Combat the Failure to Launch in Your Life

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you anything was possible? The sky was the limit, they said, and you believed them. Being cut from the soccer team, setting fire to your chemistry set, getting turned down by your kindergarten crush — no setback was damning enough to shake your confidence or destroy your faith in the future.

But a funny thing happens as you get older. When faced with a big challenge, you can become paralyzed by self-doubt because you’re afraid of failing. And when you do try and things don’t work out, bouncing back from failure is harder than it used to be.

Asking out the cute girl (or guy) at the coffee shop feels more daunting after a few heartbreaks, and going after a big promotion seems like an embarrassment waiting to happen after being passed over once.

Our setbacks make us fearful. Some people plow through those fears, driving through doubt like a runaway train. Others become prisoners of their own anxieties and stop living their lives because of it.

This failure-to-launch cycle comes in varying degrees. Some have a hard time getting through simple tasks like calling someone on the phone; others are fully functioning in society, just not at the level they want to be.

If you’re caught in the failure-to-launch loop of self-doubt, fear, and low self-esteem, there’s a way out. You’ll have to put in some emotional work and be willing to step outside your comfort zone, but you can do it if you’re willing to try.

Prepare for Takeoff

Here are the steps for overcoming the failure to launch once and for all:

1. Create accountability. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, your mentor, or a romantic partner — choose someone who will push you to follow through on your goals and call you out when you don’t.

2. Exercise. A healthy, active body is directly linked to a healthy, happy mind. Start by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or biking to work. When you’re active, you’ll feel sexier, more alive, and more willing to challenge yourself.

3. Be honest. Own your strengths and your weaknesses, and don’t be afraid to set personal boundaries. The more straightforward you are with yourself, the more likely you are to cultivate honest, healthy relationships that enhance your life.

4. Socialize. We’re social creatures, and being around other people makes us feel needed, appreciated, and loved. If you decide to sit at home and watch TV on a Friday night, you know how that’s going to end: with you crying over “Downton Abbey” all by yourself. If your roommates or friends invite you to a party this weekend, go! If you prefer a less intense get-together, book clubs or lunch with a friend are also great, low-key ways to connect with people.

5. Practice mindfulness. Don’t let regrets about the past or worries about the future cast a shadow on the here and now. Being present helps you get more out of life and feel more positive in general.

6. Educate yourself. Developing a skill boosts your confidence and makes you happier in the long run. Take advantage of online resources to study an interest you’ve been toying with. You’ll boost your self-esteem and gain respect from others.

Everyone has their hang-ups. Take my friend, Vinny, for instance. He was a 22-year-old guy from a good family, but he struggled with depression, anxiety, and a lack of motivation. When I met him, he wasn’t even comfortable talking on the phone and would only communicate through email or text. Vinny was a talented guitar player, but no one knew how much he had to offer because he was too intimidated to perform.

Unwilling to spend the rest of his life on the sidelines, Vinny started putting in work to develop his confidence. A guy who was once too shy to pull out his guitar for a small audience now plays open-mic nights and has performed in front of hundreds of people.

There are a lot of Vinnys in the world — people who are holding themselves back because they’re scared but who actually have unlimited value to offer. If you’re one of them, listen up: Nothing will change until not achieving becomes more uncomfortable than putting yourself back in the game.

Taking risks is scary. But isn’t spending your life feeling trapped and unfulfilled even scarier? Channel your negative or anxious energy into exercising, learning a new skill, or just hanging out with a friend. Small steps make a huge difference in your self-perception, and that’s the key to reaching your greatest potential.

Matthew Arrington is the executive director and co-founder of Forte Strong, the world’s first failure-to-launch program for men who struggle to leave their parents’ home or find it difficult to become independent. Forte Strong uses a proprietary coaching model to help students find purpose and direction, guide parents and families in empowering their sons, and ultimately create a healthier family dynamic. Matthew currently resides in sunny St. George, Utah.

 

 

The post 6 Ways to Combat the Failure to Launch in Your Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

The Art of Being My Dad

By Leo Babauta My dad was born into poverty in the tiny seaside village of Agat, Guam, in 1952. His mom died when he was a child, and he never knew his dad. He was raised by his uncle’s family in another small village, Piti, after being separated from his brothers and sisters. So he […]

9 Little Things That Make A Huge Difference For Your Happiness

9 little things that make a huge difference for your happiness

When it comes to happiness, most, if not all people are always advocating the idea of not letting the little things get to you.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff” as they say.

Let’s flip it around. The little things DO matter.

“A little bit goes a long way” as we all should say.

There’re a ton of simple ideas we can take up on to alleviate our pains, our ills and boost our happiness two to threefold.

1) Cleaning up your room

Because nobody, and I mean nobody will ever be happy living in their own filth. Whoever claims otherwise are probably hoarders and have major issues they need looking into.

A clean environment makes up for a healthy atmosphere, mind, body and soul. This is how you look forward to actually going back home and enjoy being alone.

So clean it up. Get rid of the clutter. Do a weekly thorough cleaning session and your mood will improve for sure.

2) Having enough sleep in a stretch

And when I mean a stretch, I mean sleeping 7-8 hours at a go. You can’t cheat by taking a few naps throughout the day and then back it up with Red Bull or some energy drink.

This may sound obvious enough, but most people don’t get enough sleep due to their hectic lifestyles. As a result, people get unknowingly cranky and unhappy.

You’ll look better too and definitely fall sick less.

3) Dress up. Groom

It’s easy to think and justify that we shouldn’t bother having to look good when we don’t have any engagements for the day. But I think it’s important to look good on the outside at all the times. If anything, we should put in the minimal effort to do so.

You’d want to look in the mirror and know you’re at your best. You do know after all, when you look your best. Why limit it to rare occasions? I don’t dress up at home, but I always shave or put on my contact lenses when I head out to wherever.

Look good for yourself. You’d subconsciously become more confident in everything you do then.

4) Shower

Again another obvious point, but surprisingly, most people don’t do this. I know of many friends who choose to head to bed after a night of drinking without showering. Gross.

So, at the risk of sounding like your mom, shower. Wash off the dirt and feel fresh. Clean behind your ears. This is how you stay clean, healthy and not smell bad.

This isn’t the cavemen era anymore. I bet you aren’t homeless either. Stop living with dirt!

5) Do that one piece of work, no matter where, no matter what

You know what happens when you decide to procrastinate and hold off work?

You feel half-hearted. You think you get to enjoy your newly-found space of free time, but at the back of your mind, you’re thinking of the work. You’re feeling guilty and unaccomplished.

That’s not how you become happy. You HAVE to do the work. So feel uncomfortable and do it anyway. It will make you happy later on.

6) Take a break

Yet, remember that you’re allowed to take breaks. Don’t overwhelm yourself with work and think that you’re have to use up every second of your time being productive.

You aren’t a robot.

7) Get off social media for just a bit everyday

It’s my personal opinion that social media does more bad than good. I think we’re constantly distracted and becoming unhappy because of it.

Now, I’m not asking you to go cold turkey and start hating on technology. I’m saying, take a break from it every now and then. Get off Facebook, Twitter or Instagram for a couple of hours a day.

You’ll start to notice your surroundings. You’ll start to appreciate things for what they are and you’ll fall back in love with things. You can also create meaningful conversations with those around you.

How does this happen? Because you’re no longer relying on updates just to be happy.

Take this small step. You’re fully capable of being happy off the grid.

8) Don’t spend, yet spend

Let me be blunt:

If you’ve a ton of savings, then go ahead and spoil yourself. You deserve it. Life isn’t all about money, but it does make our life easier. And since you’ve worked hard for it, you should be rewarded.

If you don’t, stop spending. Please put that credit card back in your wallet. Don’t even think of going drinking if your idea of spending is only with credit.

Depending on where you are in life, be sensible with money. That’s all. There’re too many, if I may say it, stupid ideas on money by dumb and reckless people.

Be sure to manage your finances and life well your own way.

9) Don’t think about helping people. Just do it

Have you ever walked across a homeless person begging for money and then decide to give some change? But, when you reach in to your wallet, you realize the notes you’re carrying are too big. You then feel conflicted on whether you should give or not.

By then, you’ve walked far away.

And then you feel bad. You feel worse later because you end up spending that big note on some useless thing you don’t need.

That’s the folly in a lot of us. Perhaps it’s time we decide to help others to help ourselves. It DOES work that way!

Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking only for yourself. Use the power of impulse to make this world a better place. You’ll be guaranteed happiness this way.

Something awesome for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Want more ways to be happy?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

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How to Run Meetings that Get Results: Lessons from the Pentagon

Don’t you love meetings?

Especially the ones that go on forever and result in nothing productive?

Unfortunately, this sad state of affairs is all too prevalent in organizations. During my 24-year Air Force career, I attended literally thousands of meetings. Looking back, it’s astonishing how much time I spent in meetings and how little was accomplished.

I encountered my first example of a well-run meeting when I was a young lieutenant in Germany. Every morning, all the key personnel of the unit were required to attend a highly structured, stand-and-deliver meeting with a very crusty—and very smart—commander. I learned quickly to have my stuff together or else things didn’t go very well for me. There was no idle chitchat; everyone was engaged. When the meeting ended, we walked out with a clear idea of the day’s objectives with a minimum investment of time.

Later in my career, I remembered those meetings and vowed never to waste my folks’ time with unnecessary meetings—and when I did have them, to make them count. I found this mind-set to be particularly successful when I worked in the Pentagon, which houses a formidable bureaucracy.

The process I used at the Pentagon tapped into a need for military and civilian “action officers” to actually take some action and do their jobs. These professionals always knew they would be doing something substantial when they participated in my meetings. So people appreciated that I respected their time. The impact that my approach had on my ability to get things done was amazing.

Here’s what I did:

Before the Meeting

• Determine the specific outcome or set of outcomes you want to achieve. This is especially critical to ensure the purpose of the meeting is clear. Lack of a clear outcome is a primary cause of poor meetings.

• Make a list of the required and optional participants that you need to achieve your desired outcome. Invite the decision-makers. If they can’t make it, put the word out that whoever attends in their place speaks for them. In this way you prevent people from blocking progress because they aren’t authorized to make a decision. If you need subject matter experts to provide additional support for the meeting, have them to attend as well. Construct and distribute a logical, time-driven schedule of events so everyone knows how to prepare and what’s expected of them. If possible, get the schedule out at least a week ahead of time. It’s important that you keep a record of when and to whom you sent the meeting notice. You’ll be surprised how many people will claim they never got it.

• Make a list of deliverables and products required before the meeting, and set a deadline and format for their delivery. Gathering and preparing meeting materials like slide decks and reports takes time. Don’t leave this to the last minute.

• Reserve a room that is conducive to what you intend to accomplish. Makes sure the room is the right size, it has enough chairs, and it has the equipment you need. Assess whether the location is advantageous to you, neutral to your cause, or puts you at a disadvantage. For instance, if you anticipate that the meeting will be contentious, perhaps you’ll want to find a neutral location.

• If time allows, send out multiple announcements to the participants, and secure their RSVPs. Follow up with phone calls if necessary. Increase the probability of having a good meeting by getting the right people there.

• Identify your note taker. A competent note taker is crucial. The note taker creates the record of what was said, agreed to, and disagreed to.

• If it will help your cause, provide basic refreshments and snacks. Then plan time to prepare or purchase them.

• At least an hour before the meeting starts, get the room set up. Bring up the computer and projects; check microphones if you’re using them. Pull up your charts and other electronic material. Put out nameplates. Set up your refreshments.

During the Meeting

• Introduce the meeting’s host (if other than you) at the start of the meeting and welcome the participants.

• Right up front state the purpose and desired outcome(s) at the beginning of the meeting.

• If applicable, go over action items from previous meetings. If progress hasn’t been made, take some time to drill down and find out why. Then, gain agreement on what the responsible party will do to accomplish the task and set a revised deadline.

• Keep the meeting flowing and on schedule. If a discussion can’t be concluded, table it for a future meeting or an off-line discussion. Keep a tight rein on irrelevant topics and rabbit holes. Otherwise, you risk derailing your meeting.

• Before concluding the meeting, sum up the tasks, agreements, outcomes, deliverables, responsible parties, and due dates. This is extremely critical so that everyone is clear as to what transpired and who will do certain tasks.

• If needed, agree on a time, date, and location for the next meeting. Ensure you sustain momentum. It’s much more difficult to pull together a follow-on meeting once everyone has returned to their normal day-to-day routine.

After the Meeting

• No later than twenty-four hours after the meeting, send out meeting notes to all participants. Don’t underestimate the importance of this step. It’s the way you document progress and help hold people accountable in between meetings.

• Communicate with those responsible for actions to assess status, head-off problems, and provide motivation.

• Wash, rinse, and repeat the entire process for your next meeting.

All this planning, preparation, orchestration, and follow-up may seem like a lot to go through, and it is when you first begin to use this process. However, the template is effective for both formal and informal meetings at any level of your organization. Although you may not need to use all these steps, you can use them as a template to help you tailor the process for what you need.

As a side benefit, people will appreciate you for your outcome-oriented focus and your respect for their time.

And trust me, if it worked in the Pentagon, it can work for you.

Joe is the author of The Leadership Forge: 50 Fire-Tested Insights to Solve Your Toughest Problems, Care for Your People, and Get Great Results. He is the President of The Leadership Crucible, an executive coaching and leadership development firm. Joe is a decorated Air Force veteran who deployed in support of seven overseas operations. His twenty-four year career included command of five units including the Air Force's only combat-coded communications wing.

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7 Science-Backed Tips for Sticking to Your Fitness Resolutions This Year

These days you can’t throw a rock without hitting some new diet plan, app or gadget that promises to help you get in the best shape of your life with minimal effort.

But as much as we’d all love to pop a few pills or strap on a toning belt instead of eating less and exercising more, the fact of the matter is that getting and staying fit is hard work. Fortunately, though there are ways to make sure your efforts pay off in the long run.

Over the years researchers have uncovered a number of nifty tricks to help you get closer to your fitness goals without counting calories or following complicated exercise routines. So, if getting fit is one of your resolutions this year, here are ten more effective ways to make it happen.

1. Set bigger goals

When it comes to weight loss we’re often advised to set small “realistic” goals, with the reasoning that we may become discouraged and give up if we fail to reach them within the timeframe we set for ourselves.

However, a study carried out by researchers in the Netherlands found that people who set higher weight loss goals actually put more effort into reaching them and lost more weight within a two-month period than those who had set lower weight loss goals.

Of course, no one size fits all when it comes to weight loss and what works for one person may not be the best option for you. But if you’ve always set ‘doable’ fitness goals for yourself and just aren’t seeing the dramatic results you’d like, it might be time to set your sights higher.

2. Slow it down

Research shows that it can take up to 20 minutes for your brain to register that you feel full after eating. This is because the brain needs to receive signals from stretch receptors in the stomach, which are activated when it fills with food, and also from digestive hormones in the gastrointestinal tract.

This whole process takes some time, so if you shovel down an entire meal in under ten minutes you’re far more likely to overeat than if you take your time to savor the food and chew each mouthful slowly.

If you’ve finished your meal and still feel hungry, make a point of waiting a few minutes before going for a second helping, as your brain may simply need more time to register that you’ve eaten enough.

3. Use smaller plates

How much we eat actually has very little to do with how hungry we are, as evidenced by a Cornell study that used ‘bottomless bowls’ to determine whether visual cues influence how much we eat.

Half of the participants were served in bowls that were secretly refilled as they ate through a tube under the table, while the other half ate their soup from regular bowls. Those eating from the self-refilling bowls ended up eating 73% more soup, but surprisingly, they did not feel any fuller or believe they had eaten more than the participants who had used regular bowls.

The researchers explain that the amount of food on a plate or in a bowl provides us with a visual cue that influences how much we consume.

When you have a larger plate, you’ll not only load on more food, but also feel the need to keep eating until you’ve cleared your plate. So using smaller plates and bowls can help you cut down on the amount of calories you consume without even missing them.

4. Change what you see

Since visual cues are so powerful, what you see around you will have a big impact on the choices you make. If you have a jar of candy sitting on your desk, the temptation to snack on it will be far greater than if it was shut away in a cupboard. Similarly, if you have fruits and vegetables in plain sight, you’ll be more likely to snack on them instead of junk food.

A Today News experiment led by Cornell researcher Brian Wansink showed that the order in which food is served also influences your food choices.

Two groups of people were invited to enjoy a free buffet, and although the food was the same for both groups, it was arranged in a different order. When the fruit and salad had been laid out at the beginning of the buffet rather than at the end, people served themselves more of the healthy food.

So even if you don’t cut certain foods completely from your diet, starting your meals with a healthier item like a salad or piece of fruit will help you make better choices overall.

5. Work harder and less frequently

If you find it hard to set aside time to exercise every day, you may be pleased to learn that brief periods of strenuous exercise just twice a week can be very effective too.

Researchers from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario developed a high intensity interval training program that required participants to exercise at about 90% of their heart for one minute followed by one minute of easy recovery. This process was repeated 10 times, bringing the total exercise time to 20 minutes.

After several weeks of following this program for two days each week, the volunteers showed significant improvements in their health and fitness. So if you’re willing to work harder when you do have time to exercise, you may not need to devote as much time to it as you think.

6. Implement immediate consequences

Although there are long term consequences for unhealthy eating or a lack of exercise, we tend to pay more attention to actions that have immediate consequences. Skipping your work out or having a hot dog for lunch won’t have any immediate repercussions, so it’s easier to ignore the fact that you’re breaking your resolve to eat better or exercise more.

With this in mind, implementing some sort of penalty for bad behavior will make you more likely to stick to your commitments. A Stanford study shows that commitment contracts can help people stick to their commitments in situations where there are upfront costs, but the benefits are delayed.

For instance, a contract that requires you to pay X amount of money to a friend if you skip your scheduled work out will make it more costly to do so and will increase your likelihood of sticking with the fitness program you’ve chosen.

The researchers also note that longer contracts (of more than 8 weeks) tend to be more effective, because it takes some time to get past the initial experience of displeasure and recognize the longer term benefits.

7. Reward yourself

In the same way that we’re more likely to pay attention to the short term consequences of our actions, we’re also more likely to feel motivated to do something if the payoff is immediate. Obviously, one work out or day of ‘clean eating’ isn’t going to pay off immediately, but you can find other ways to reward yourself for good behavior.

According to research from the University of California, Santa Barbara, incentives are very effective in encouraging the development of good habits, and in one study, people who were paid to go to the gym doubled their attendance rate.

While it might be hard to find someone who will pay you to work out or eat right, you can “pay” yourself in other ways. For example, after a good work out session you could allow yourself some downtime to watch an episode of your favorite TV series or get a massage.

After a while, your brain will begin to recognize the workout itself as the reward and you won’t even need these little incentives. But while you’re still forming good habits, rewarding yourself can help you stay on track.

Marianne Stenger is a writer with Open Colleges. She covers career development, workplace productivity and self-improvement. You can connect with her on Twitter and Google+, or find her latest articles here. 

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5 Ideas to Create an Amazing 2015

By Leo Babauta With every new year, comes renewed optimism. And while I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions that you’re just going to toss aside when things get busy, I am a fan of creating new habits. This year, I’m offering to help you create 12 new habits for 2015. They’re some of […]